Ruin Sorbees

A telephonic exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review.

Room Service: “Morny. Ruin Sorbees”

Gast: “Sorry, I thought I dialled room-service”

Room Service: “Rye.. Ruin sorbees..morny. Djewish to oder sunteen?”

Gast: “Uh..yes..I’d like some bacon and eggs”

Room Service: “Ow July den?”

Gast: “What?”

Room Service: “Ow July den?..pry, boy, pooch?”

Gast: “Oh, the eggs…How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please”

Room Service: “Ow July dee baychem…crease?”

Gast: “Crisp will we fine”

Room Service: “Hokay. An santos”

Gast: “What?”

Room Service: “Santos, July Santos?”

Gast: “I don’t think so”

Room Service: “No? Judo one toes?”

Gast: “I feel really bad about this, but I don’t know what ‘judo one toes’ means.”

Room Service: “Toes, toes… Why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?”

Gast: “English muffin! I’ve got it, You were saying Toast, fine yes, an English muffin will be fine”

Room Service: “We bother?”

Gast: “No..just the bother on the side”

Room Service: “Wad?”

Gast: “I mean butter…just put the butter on the side”

Room Service: “Copy?”

Gast: “Sorry?”

Room Service: “Copy..tea..mill?”

Gast: “Yes, coffee please, and that’s all”

Room Service: “One minnie. Ass ruin tornio fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy…rye?”

Gast: “Whatever you say”

Room Service: “Tendjewberrymud”

Gast: “You’re welcome”